To Brine or not to Brine...

For Jean my mother in law. We miss you.
Originally posted, November 2009.

My wife and I are a great combination when it comes to holiday festivities. I do the cooking and she does the baking. I could care less about what to get little Suzy for Christmas, instead saving myself for the tough decisions like scalloped or double stuffed potatoes. Oh sure, there are times when mistakes are made, like the cranberry chutney incident of 2004, but we learn and move on.

Thanksgiving, the unofficial start of the festive season used to be the spring training for holiday cooking. Go with the staples and then throw in a test recipe or two. If it stinks, put gravy on it. No one will know the difference. But alas, even the best of plans come to an end as we lost the rights to Thanksgiving dinner. It’s a secondary tradition in this country to claim your holiday. Some are considered away games and some are home games. With the addition of a child, we traded Thanksgiving for Christmas Eve and a minor holiday to be named later. Something like Arbor day or Earth day. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Dinner, then dessert, then wait for Santa. Here’s the problem, Thanksgiving is now at my in-laws. Wonderful people, kind people, good hearted and all the other niceties one can toss in for good measure. It’s just that Mom in law (we’ll call her M2) can’t cook to save her life. Their spice rack consists of salt, pepper and onion powder, and they might make it on to the turkey…IF THE TURKEY WALKED INTO IT AND SPICED HIMSELF UP.

I know you are saying I am being mean and selfish. All very good points, and all coming from people who never had a Thanksgiving dinner from M2. In an effort of good cheer and to show that I’m the awesome son in law they think I am, I offered for the past couple of years to make the turkey here, and bring it to them for our holiday feast. I’ll even throw in some sausage and cranberry stuffing. I know, what a guy.

All was well the first year, although the asked for all the bones to make soup. Those were technically my bones, but in the tradition of giving… Last year while everyone was enjoying a truly tender and delicious turkey, someone asked how it got so juicy. I remarked that I brined the bird (salt, juice sugar and lots of other stuff), to which I heard “hm, that may be why I thought it was a little salty.” No, the ocean is a little salty, the turkey was awesome. Then on to the stuffing. Wonderfully tender, yet with a touch of spice. I was told it had too much kick to it. Once again, a donkey has too much kick, my stuffing was double thumbs up.

So now I am starting my holiday season in doubt. Do I brine, or not brine. Maybe a bread stuffing is better this year. How about just some corn bread. This is stressful stuff. And of course a bad Thanksgiving dinner will stay with you (not like how my mother in laws dinner would stay with you, but you get the point) right through Christmas and beyond. Maybe we should just eat out. Yeah, that’s it. Eat out. Besides it will give us more time to look for Suzy’s gift. At least I think her name is Suzy.