IT'S A WAR I TELL YA...

It started around the first of August. A simple “tink” sound along the side of the pool. I thought nothing of it. Then it happened again, and then again. Little did I know that harmless sound was the beginning of something more ominous. . . Something bigger. Something, dare I say sinister. That’s right that innocent sound was the beginning of approximately 4.6 million acorns falling into my yard. And yes I counted them to make sure that number was correct.
I have been told Oak trees shed their acorns every other year. I have also been told that due to the dry conditions we had this summer, that the fruit of the tree may fall early. NO ONE TOLD ME, that the fruit multiplied like bunnies at a woodland Woodstock concert.
So now I rake, not leaves, but acorns. At least with leaves there are some colors to look at, the cool fall temperatures and the nostalgic feeling one gets when working on a seasonal tradition. Dealing with these little knobs of evil is simply no fun. AND THEY KEEP FALLING.
The kicker in all of this are the squirrels. They are laughing at you. Oh sure, not to your face with their little chubby squirrel cheeks, but while on the trees looking down at you. It’s as if they are saying, “hey you, you missed one…no wait, you missed 1,001. Hahahahahahaha.” I’ll fix them. Next time you try and climb my bird feeder, good luck stopping. It’s just a little greasy. No wait, the hair styles on Sha Na Na were a little greasy. You have a cooking spray oil spill on your hands. How do you like it now Mr. Chubby Cheeks?
This past week I spent a good portion of the afternoon raking these “things” in a pile to pick up. 15 piles later I was done. I then had my son pick them up to dump them. I grew a beard while this process took place.
The source of all of this is the mighty Oak tree. I have two of them in the front yard and one that sits over the pool along the side of the property. That one not only tosses acorns in the pool for target practice, but shades it enough to keep the summer water temperature somewhere around 42 degrees. I think I should file suit with whoever had this property around 1890. They were the ones who planted them…I think. Of course I have no way of knowing this, but even so someone has to pay.
In the end all I can do it sit, and watch them drop. One after another, after another and so on... They will soon be followed by 4.6 million leaves, and yes I counted them too. The only good news is that the squirrels are out there now feeding away. Maybe one will get hit in the head with a falling nut. Nothing serious, maybe just a headache or slight concussion. But nothing more. Honest….