zzzzzz's optional

A couple of years ago when a doctor asked me if I have trouble sleeping, I made the mistake of answering “yes”, on occasion. In no time flat, I was in a bed, hooked up to something that could have appeared in one of those late night movies … NASA meets Godzilla. Wires attached, machine beeping and people watching me sleep…like that was going to happen. Well, shortly thereafter I was told I have a sleeping disorder. Please keep in mind, I never complained about a sleeping disorder, but the tests show I have one, so I must be ill somehow, somewhere. A few days later, I was fitted with a mask that does wonders for those watching a Top Gun marathon, but is cumbersome when actually trying to sleep. My venture into hi-tech sleeping lasted but three days.
What the doctors should have done was put some cameras around my house at night. It would have saved everyone time and money. Here is the real reason why sleeping is optional in my house, and I bet in many more households too.
Bed time is 11 pm, and I will acknowledge that I am a light sleeper. After making a final check on the house and moving the dog to the middle of the bed, it’s off to slumber time… that is until 12:30 when the 18 year old cat decides she needs attention. Nothing bad mind you, just that she wants to be followed around the house for no good reason, and then petted non stop for another 20 minutes. I’ve been told on numerous occasions the cat was around long before me, so pretty much I am knocked down to #3 in the sleeping pecking order. So now it’s 1:45 AM and after a full 20 minutes of sleep of the couch, I was awoken once again, this time by a large black nose. And while only six years of age, our dog has issues too. He doesn’t like to sleep alone, or at least be awake, alone. So it’s up and back to bed for me and the dog. But wait; there is now a boy in my spot in the bed. My son decided to take my spot since it takes three less steps from the bathroom to our room. And he’s all about using as little energy as possible…especially at 2AM.
But hold on, there is now an open bed in my son’s room. At 2:15, it’s time to get ready to enjoy a dream or two, but first I have to listen to the sound of hermit crabs clicking and clacking their way through the night. I swear it’s like a mini happy hour in their tank. Climbing, clacking, tumbling. Their nightly jaunts, although amusing, are keeping me up once again.
Drastic action is needed. So at 4:30 AM, I move my son back to his bed, tuck him in and get ready for a final two hours of sleep. Upon my return I find the dog, with his head on MY pillow looking at me. I think he was laughing. OK maybe grinning. Meanwhile, the cat is looking at me with eyes that are saying, “I may need more attention…soon.” By this stage of the game, I decide to start the coffee, catch the early morning news, and start my day. It’s usually around this time when I see extra bubbles coming from the fish tank. I’m pretty sure those are bubbles of laughter from “Starry” the fish. He better watch it or I might have to introduce him to the cat. Hey, I was told to give her extra attention.